Buffalo News - The best job upstate has to offer
    By DONN ESMONDE

    That seals it.

    I’ve often pondered, if reincarnation is real, who or what I’d like to come back as. Rock star? Yankees center fielder? Jennifer Lopez’s divorce lawyer?

    Reading reporter Matt Spina’s piece in Sunday’s News made up my mind. If there is a second time around, let me live it as a New York State legislator.

    Few jobs in America come with the perks, extras and salary-enhancers of a light-lifting, little-accountability seat in Albany. Its upside overshadows that of any other endeavor, with the possible exception of Hugh Hefner’s stand-in.

    State lawmakers are all but guaranteed lifetime office. Yet still they raise money for sham campaigns. Worse, they can use the campaign money for just about anything. They don’t have to spend it on TV ads, or “Vote for Me” posters or to mail campaign fliers. Instead, they can buy themselves cars, meals, trips and even - in Assemblyman Sam Hoyt’s case - pay for baby sitters.

    The mystery of Cheektowaga Assemblyman Paul Tokasz’s eternal tan has been solved: His list of warm-weather junkets rivals that of a PGA tour player - Phoenix, Los Angeles, Santa Fe, Miami Beach, Los Angeles. All of them, he explained, were for can’t-miss conferences. Uh-huh.

    Meanwhile, we carry the heaviest tax load in the country. If Tokasz concentrated less on padding his frequent flier miles and more on chopping taxes, we might be able to lure corporations - instead of waving good-bye to the ones we have.

    Well-meaning citizens assume the donations dropped at Hoyt’s annual fundraising clambake, or shindigs for Tokasz and our dozens of other state legislators, fund their campaigns. But many of the dollars cushion the lifestyles of lawmakers already making upward of 80 grand.

    “I thought the idea was to spend [donations] for campaign purposes,” said downtown businessman Pat Hotung, who gave $1,000 to Hoyt. “This is why people have been clamoring for better campaign finance laws all of my adult life.”

    Borrowing a fundraising idea that Hoyt borrowed from David Letterman, we present the Top Five Reasons to donate to Hoyt:

    5. He can’t keep a finger on the community pulse without Bisons season tickets.

    4. The baby sitter just raised her rates.

    3. Hey, a guy gets hungry.

    2. He might someday actually run for mayor, county executive, Congress or some other office he chronically claims to be “taking a hard look at.”

    1. The 2007 models just came in, and that new Trailblazer looks sweet.

    You could die and come back as a Yankee, with the big bucks and fame. But you’re washed up at 40. State legislators last forever.

    The irony is that these people don’t need your campaign dollars. The re-election rate for legislative incumbents is 97 percent. Short of being caught sticking up a 7-Eleven, re-election is a lock.

    State lawmakers self-protect by stuffing their districts with voters of the same party. They send taxpayer-covered political mailings, called franking, during campaign season. They use campaign contributions and tax dollars for “member items” to reward faithful supporters. They write arcane campaign rules to drive off challengers. And the big-bucks donors - public-worker unions and other power sources - stuff legislators’ pockets in return for their guarding of the status quo.

    Rock stars get old, today’s arena hero is tomorrow’s oldies act. A state lawmaker, no matter how old or out of touch, never goes out of style - or feels much heat.

    There is an expression state legislators use to greet a newly elected member: “Welcome to the game.”

    It is a game that the insiders can’t lose. Forget about being the second coming of Mick Jagger or Joe DiMaggio. If I get another go-round, I’ll take a seat in Albany.

    e-mail: desmonde@buffnews.com

Bravo Donn! He nails it…. I don’t think you would want to be part of the minority party, the perks aren’t so good!